Top five slow cars

LAND ROVER DEFENDER 130 CREW CAB
0-100km/h: 17.0 secondsThe expression “going nowhere fast” could've been spawned for this crew-friendly Landie. With just 90kW and almost 2000kg to haul, even a sub-20sec 0-100km/h is a big ask.

FIAT PANDA POP
0-100km/h: 14.2 seconds

It's called Pop probably because that’s what your aneurism will do as you attempt to overtake a B-double on a country road. Its atmo 1.2 delivers just 51kW – about the same as a high-end motor scooter.

FORD ECOSPORT 1.5 AUTO
0-100km/h: 14.1 seconds

4

When you add 150kg of faux muscle to create a baby-SUV, it's probably a good idea to find an engine to match. Instead, the Ecosport relies on sprint gearing to disguise its weakness.

PEUGEOT 208 ACTIVE
0-100km/h: 13.9 seconds

4

What the smallest Peugeot on sale lacks in cylinder count, it makes up in determination. The cheeky 60kW 1.2-litre triple is full of character, but little in the way of straight-line acceleration.

PEUGEOT 2008 ACTIVE
0-100km/h: 13.5 seconds

4

The same charming triple is slotted into this 208-based SUV with similar effect. Its extra bulk (47kg) means 6km/h less speed (169km/h) and a bit more thirst, but she's quicker off the mark.

This article was originally published in Wheels August 2014.